Family Life: A Teenager’s Place (Part 1)

In trying to help parents and youth pastors, I want to look at three areas in the family life of a young person and discuss some helps in establishing guidelines for them.

First, I would like us to consider the idea of contentment. The apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 4 that he found contentment. We live in a day that is contrary to contentment. In the material world, we must have a bigger car, boat, or house. In the job market, we must climb the ladder, ask for more pay, or be looking for some type of advancement. I understand that we should strive for the mastery, but many have taken this idea of never being content with where God has placed them or with what God has given them. Let’s consider the story of Jacob and Esau.

Genesis 27:35-36 says, “And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing. And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?”

There are two important thoughts here for a parent to consider as they develop contentment in their home.

A young person must learn to develop contentment for what they have. This must start early in the developmental years but it will be magnified in the teen years. A young person must not come to the place that nothing will satisfy. Many teenagers today will only work if they are being paid. I have had parents tell me this numerous times over my years in the ministry. The conversation will progress something along these lines: “I can’t believe how hard they work for money, I just wish they would be interested in doing some work around the house.” We must be careful that we do not develop in a young person’s heart a covetous desire for materialism. If they will work like a dog for money but you can’t get them to do anything around the house, they have a problem with contentment. The Bible instructs us to be content with such things as we have. I have encountered both pros and cons to giving an allowance to a young person. In your home, you must settle on what God wants you to do. Either decision you come to will not eliminate the covetous nature of the heart. Some that are given too much become spoiled brats and develop an entitlement philosophy. On the other hand, I have seen young people who are not given anything, work with their own hands and become covetous. In all cases, I Timothy 6:6, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” must be studied out in the home. Our young people must have a Biblical philosophy towards possessions.

The next item that I find in this passage to help with contentment is that a young person should be secure in their love at home. I don’t want to get into psychological babble, but a young person who is not shown love at homeand who is not accepted or noticed at home, will find this attention in other places. The Biblical love that parents should show their young people in their own home, will help them in understanding God’s love in that He gives them all that they need or should desire. Without Biblical love and training, possessions can become a young person’s entire focus for getting the love and attention. Jobs and work opportunities are great for young people, but those environments should not become the social hangouts for young people outside of the home or their church. Many teens’ parents are so busy with their own lives that they do not see the needs that their children have. It is important to note that both daughters and sons need proper attention from their father. Lacking this, we have rampant immorality and rebellious teenagers, often leading to the growing problem with gangs in our culture. Worldy contentment will always lead the teen to look elsewhere besides their home, church, and school environment to find acceptance.