Teens A to Z – Communication in the Home (Part 1)

After doing extensive research on the family, marriage, and the home, it is amazing to me how many different opinions there are on these subjects. I have come to realize that we must be careful in our study and research because we do not want to get drawn in by worldly influences. I am listing just a few of the many ideas that are out there today when it comes to our topic in this article, “communication.”

• Instead of lecturing, listen. Lecturing just doesn’t work.
• Try not to judge.If your teen feels judged, they won’t approach you to tell you about serious problems.
• Encourage your teen to develop their own solutions to problems. You can make suggestions, but often you need to step back and allow your teen to work things out. Do intervene if the situation is unsafe.
• Yelling and intimidation may produce short-term compliance but, in the long run, they are ineffective and unkind strategies.
• Do something different if you have been using the same old scripts that haven’t worked before.
• Say something nice.
• Ask questions but don’t “grill” your child.
• Create private times your child can count on, like a weekly trip to the ice cream store or a daily walk. If you have younger kids, put them to bed earlier so your teen can have some “adult” time with you.
• Turn off the TV or, at least, watch some programs together and discuss them. TV can create some excellent teachable moments.
• Take turns talking – don’t monopolize the conversation.
• Ask your teen’s opinion – then be careful that what you consider “discussion” doesn’t sound like criticism  to your teen.

• Ask for your teen’s help and expertise, for example, with using your computer on a project.
• Praise your teen in front of others but not to the point of embarrassment. (“Chris really  helped me today when my computer wasn’t working properly. I had no idea he had such great skills!”).

• Don’t pry. You need enough information to help your teen stay safe but you certainly shouldn’t expect to know everything. Trust me, you don’t want to know everything!
• Watch the tone of your voice. Teens tend to be hyper-sensitive even if they don’t show it. If necessary, take a few minutes to calm down.

I listed just a few examples of the worldly philosophy being taught and practiced in our society today. We need to be careful, as parents, that we do not follow this line of thinking and substitute true Biblical guidelines with today’s psychological babble in our homes.