Tips For Training Our Teens In the Area of Dating (Part 1)
There has been a lot of discussion over the past two decades in the area of “dating.” Much of the dialogue is just on the term “dating.” Many have decided to use different terms such as “courting,” “courtship,” “betrothal,” etc. I believe that much of the discussion has come from the failure in most churches and homes to teach young people about relationships with the opposite gender. I would like to take a few articles in the Fairhaven Times to look at some guidelines that should be established early in the home with boys and girls. We will then move on to the teen years.
Consider some important principles to be established at an early age. First, there must be a clear distinction between the genders. This means clothing, activities, and behavior toward the opposite gender. Right away this will help establish that boys and girls are different. America is reaping the result of equality of genders. We now have boys and girls who are saying they don’t know what gender they are. This is a direct result of bad training in the home. In Genesis, the Bible clearly tells us that He created them male and female. This distinction needs to be clearly established in the home at an early age. This will help you as a parent later when you begin putting principles in place for touching, for conversation, and for interaction with the opposite gender. There are those who will disagree with some of my conclusions. I would ask that you consider where we are heading. The end result is a godly home for your young son or daughter.
What are the clear distinctions that should be put into place? First, have distinctions in the home between dad and mom. There is considerable non-Biblical teaching in this regard. Some say that authority must be equally divided; some say that there should be job sharing; and some say that there is no real distinction given between dad and mom. This is not seen in the Bible. The Bible does not teach a Neanderthal-age philosophy where the dad is a caveman pounding his chest and mom is the hired kitchen help. However, there are clear definite roles concerning the husband and wife in the home.
It should be evident in your home that the man is the spiritual head. This does not belittle the mother. It should not be that dad “brings home the bacon” and mom runs basically everything else. Dads should be engaged in the home on a constant basis. This will help develop a balanced child and also help, later in life, when the young son or daughter is maturing to an age where they are starting to look for a mate.
In America, we have a society that is continually saying, “women are belittled.” In the Bible, we do not see the responsibility of being a mother scorned. The world has rejected the Biblical model in many social areas. As a result of this, we shouldn’t be surprised when they don’t respect the mother’s place in the home. I have been involved in churches as a member, a staff member, and a pastor. I have seen that there is great joy in children whose mothers enjoy fulfilling their Biblical role. I am sure that those children, who are now grown adults, do not look at their moms as second-class citizens.
So, the first thing parents can do in preparing their children in the area of dating is presenting a good example of a Biblical home and having the proper roles for dad and mom.