Tips For Training Our Teens In the Area of Dating (Part 2)

Let’s consider another area that will help your children in preparing for dating.  There must be training in behavior.  Believe it or not, proper table manners, treating their brothers or sisters as human beings, learning to do their chores, and learning conversational skills will help them when their dating life begins.  These skills and behavioral attributes need to be started at an early age, such as three to five years old.  A young child who learns that life does not exist for their pleasure is well on their way to becoming a great mate for someone someday.  Etiquette and proper manners are something that is becoming a lost art.  A young boy should learn that his sisters and his mother are special in the house and should be respected.  Dad needs to show this by his actions. This should be taught in the home both from Bible training and example. My favorite time growing up was around the dinner table where we could practice some of the table manners and discuss some of the proper etiquette that should be used. We did this with our own children also. It is fun to put this into practice with their friends and acquaintances.  In our church, we try to put resources in the hands of our families so that this can be accomplished.  Repetition is  key to this character training.  We all must work at character and manners.  We must not get frustrated when our seven-year-old son or daughter forgets to pick up after themselves, forgets where to put their napkin, or forgets to write a thank you card right after receiving a gift from someone.

Third, let’s consider modesty and distinction in regard to dress.  This can be touchy for some folks, but when we go to the Bible, we see that God made men and women differently.  There is nothing wrong with boys understanding that women are made to be pretty and beautiful.  Because of the twisted society we live in, we tend to think even saying that a woman is pretty or complimenting a lady is leading down a dangerous road.  It should be developed in the nature of boys that are becoming men that prettiness is a trait distinctive to a lady.  An overemphasis in this area in a man will lead to him becoming effeminate.  This is not saying that a man should be unkempt, but prettiness and beauty are Biblically distinctive of a lady.

In training our ladies, the Bible talks about modesty in I Timothy 2:9.  This verse is not necessarily talking about the distinction between dresses and pants.  It is saying however that a Biblical lady does not dress to draw attention to herself.  She is modest.  This means that in the style of clothing, in the amount of jewelry, and in other areas a Biblical lady is not drawing attention to her person.  These are important items to make clear with our young boys and girls.  In a day and age when five-year-olds are paraded across a stage to be the next young model, we should be trying in our Christian homes to oppose these wrong actions.